I don't want to die.
But I don't want to live like this anymore.
A cripple.  An invalid.
I'm feeling very detached from society right now.
I do not think about suicide anymore.
I am powerless to do anything now,
and I'm fooling myself to think that I ever did have the power.
Should I post this?

I feel guilty because I have it so good.
I just need to ride this thing out, stoically.
It is difficult to be stoic when I feel so hopeless and scared.

It's just part of my psychology...I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2.
It's been an upgrade from straight up depression. But when I start cycling back down, I get like this.
I am in no psychological condition to be writing blog posts right now. It is low quality and I m.ight Erase this later but right now it feels like a valid post, to show you my dark side.